Skip to main content

::Muffin Tops and Keggers::

So as we approach the summer season of 2009...my 28th summer season in life...I find myself in an unusual situation. Muffin top. Sigh. Fuck a 6 pack..I'm working with something more like a Keg here. Just big and round and full of delicious things.

I've only been this size once before. It was when I was around 19ish. I called it the freshman 38. Except the weight all got put on around my senior year of High School when my then "love of my life omg I will die without him" faux-boyfriend shipped off to the marines and left behind a sad shell of a woman.

(Ps amazing how 10 years later and I still have a faux-boyfriend. You'd think by now I'd have figured out how to get a real one lol. But as usual, I digress.)

So after many years of being poor and broke in NYC living off of Ramen noodles and Bodega turkey sammiches, I lost the weight and was feeling pretty good about finally being able to walk into a club without sucking in my gut. It's amazing how little your body really needs to survive lol. In retrospect, if it wasn't for all the dates and old men buying drinks for us, I'm not sure me and my then roommate would have ever eaten lol. God bless a doggy bag. Good looking out Emily. :)

But now we're back to the good ole days of wearing all black like the Omen. The beautiful thing about this summer season is the fabulous accessories.
Huge wide belts...fabulous printed scarves....gut crushing black tights. Just some really amazing fashion out there to help me breathe better...literally.

And don't sleep on all the peasant type looks. While you can't wear them out to the club (although many sad misdirected girls do) they are good for those "weekend lunches" with the ladies. Pigging out on mojitos and fried calamari, without having to follow it up with a pack of laxatives and a three day hunger strike.

So God Bless you 2009 for providing me with the proper accessories to continue to party like a rock star. Without actually having to go work out.

Tye-Dye Scarf 8.80 @ www.forever21.com

Wide Belt on sale 19.50@ www.ardenb.com
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Love in the time of Kardashians

I miss the simple days of love. Where you met. You married. You had children. There were still the same problems. Alcoholism. Infidelity. Domestic Abuse. Recession. Death. Taxes. But it was all veiled behind fabulous elbow length gloves, and low-tipped fedoras. No one really knew what was going on in your home. No one dared question you about your husband. Or your children. Those were private intimate things. For better or worse that’s just how it was. Today we have the absolute extreme opposite. And just as damaging as it is to live behind veils and lies, its equally damaging to be too open. Too exposed. Too naked. This is the struggle I have within myself constantly. How to keep pieces of myself private and protected. But also allow myself the comfort and personal freedom that comes with being totally open and honest about my life. Its very easy to “put it all out there.” Between twitter and facebook. Foursquare. .Tagged photos. Comments. Replies. Innuendos. You can pretty much expos...
2 comments
Read more

::No More Mondays::

Sometimes you find yourself at work, and you're having a particularly bad day. Your boss may be taking out some personal issue on you. You might be having some back-stabbing co-worker trying to come after your position. Maybe some slanderous office gossip. Or maybe just that all too familiar feeling of your life and soul wasting away as you stare blankly at an Excel spreadsheet on your screen. Whatever it is,we all have that "when I leave this place" fantasy in our head. You know,that day when you finally walk around the office,tell your boss EXACTLY what's been on your mind the past few years. Perhaps give a few co-workers the finger. Or a few notes on personal hygenie or whatever you've been DYING to say. My "last day" fantasy went a little bit like this: Me walking around the office. Two Middle Fingers in the air. Doing the whole "you're cool, you're cool,you're cool, fuck you I'm out." from Half Baked. Then I would pack up m...
1 comment
Read more

::Little Gifts::

dis⋅so⋅lu⋅tion [dis-uh-loo-shuhn] –noun 1. the act or process of resolving or dissolving into parts or elements. 2. the resulting state. 3. the undoing or breaking of a bond, tie, union, partnership, etc. There has been a lot of dissolution this year. A lot of loose ends being tied up. A lot of things ending,and the resulting states it leaves behind. You tend to reflect a lot when something tragic happens...In this case losing my job right after my 30th birthday. A double whammy. Ive been reflecting about the past year. Which of course, leads to the past few years, which in turn,becomes basically a rundown of your whole life. if you are like i am (which you're probably not, you're probably fucking normal) you overthink everything. You think about it so much that you have it figured out. Down to its very core matter. Until it looses all meaning. Like a scientist. Who can look at a flower and tell you its exact genus and species. Tell you why its red. ...
Post a Comment
Read more