People who need to be waterboarded
I. The overly happy co-worker who asks “how you weekend was” with a huge grin first thing Monday morning, as you stumble towards the coffee maker.
B*tch is my cup empty? Is it 8am? Fall all the way back. How are these people waking up so happy? Sex? Burbon? Anti-depressants? I need answers white America.
II. People who answer the phone “yellow” without being the least bit ironic. Like, they seriously answer the phone that way.
Because, that’s how they talk.
III. People who pull out in front of you, and then proceed to go 36 mph. Are you kidding me Tokyo Drift? You were all in a hurry to cut me off and now you’re not even GOING the speed limit?
IV. Keeping on the subject of asshole drivers, people that pass you by going 186 mph only to have to slam on their brakes at the SAME red light you are at.
Again, I ask, really sir? This is not the Indy 500. This is a small highway in a suburbs with red lights. Calm it down.
V. People named Mercedes. Porcha. Moet. Chardonnay. Lexus. I mean. I know its not your fault. But no good can come to society with a name like that.
No ambassador of peace will ever be named Chardonnay Harrison. Just do us all a favor and change your name. Don’t let your parents drunken night listening to Teddy Pendergrass while getting high in a white Caddy ruin our society any further.
Vi. People who “groom” themselves in public. If you would normally do it at home in your bathroom, what in the mother of Jesus makes you think its ok to do this on a public street. Or office desk? This includes but is not limited to: cutting your finger/toe nails. Cleaning your ears out with a Q-Tip. Flossing.
Applying deodorant.
VII. Men who’s facial hair is overtaking their face. It’s one thing to have a nice beard. It’s a whole other to have people offering to give you change and sandwiches as you walk down the street. Homelessness is not, nor will ever be sexy.
I could go on forever…..feel free to add your own personal pet peeves to our “water board nominee” list lol
I. The overly happy co-worker who asks “how you weekend was” with a huge grin first thing Monday morning, as you stumble towards the coffee maker.
B*tch is my cup empty? Is it 8am? Fall all the way back. How are these people waking up so happy? Sex? Burbon? Anti-depressants? I need answers white America.
II. People who answer the phone “yellow” without being the least bit ironic. Like, they seriously answer the phone that way.
Because, that’s how they talk.
III. People who pull out in front of you, and then proceed to go 36 mph. Are you kidding me Tokyo Drift? You were all in a hurry to cut me off and now you’re not even GOING the speed limit?
IV. Keeping on the subject of asshole drivers, people that pass you by going 186 mph only to have to slam on their brakes at the SAME red light you are at.
Again, I ask, really sir? This is not the Indy 500. This is a small highway in a suburbs with red lights. Calm it down.
V. People named Mercedes. Porcha. Moet. Chardonnay. Lexus. I mean. I know its not your fault. But no good can come to society with a name like that.
No ambassador of peace will ever be named Chardonnay Harrison. Just do us all a favor and change your name. Don’t let your parents drunken night listening to Teddy Pendergrass while getting high in a white Caddy ruin our society any further.
Vi. People who “groom” themselves in public. If you would normally do it at home in your bathroom, what in the mother of Jesus makes you think its ok to do this on a public street. Or office desk? This includes but is not limited to: cutting your finger/toe nails. Cleaning your ears out with a Q-Tip. Flossing.
Applying deodorant.
VII. Men who’s facial hair is overtaking their face. It’s one thing to have a nice beard. It’s a whole other to have people offering to give you change and sandwiches as you walk down the street. Homelessness is not, nor will ever be sexy.
I could go on forever…..feel free to add your own personal pet peeves to our “water board nominee” list lol
I definitely agree with the public groomers. Several of my coworkers clip their nails at their desk at work which I find completely repulsive.
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