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:: Real Housewives of NJ. Aka, the poor man's Sopranos ::

I'm still laughing hysterically at the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I don't even know where to begin with this group of botox overdosed butter faces.
Yeah I said it. Like Butta.

Maybe I'm just uncomfortable that the short "juicy" (his wifes words not mine) husband literally pays for everything in cash. Hundreds. Crisp. Like fresh out of a suitcase left in Penn Station by someone named "Left Nut Louie". Or off the back of an unidentified white van, with NY plates. Or you know...maybe it could just be fresh out a regular ole' ATM machine. Maybe he just goes and deposits his checks like everyone else. Standing in line at TD Bank. Getting a free lollypop and biscuit for the dog. I dont know. Call me crazy but I just think this dude's money is a little toooooo crispy.

It literally looks like he's holding his breath at all time. And can't put his arms down. It's actually painful to watch. You just wanna grab a safety pin and pop him.

And then there is of course the one housewife who actually IS a crack whore. With mug shots, and a crime novel written about her.
Awesome.


Apparently she was a "model" at some point in her career. And by model I mean modeling off her crackish good looks while dancing around to Def Leopard songs at truck stop strip joints in Carlstad, NJ, while men named "Jim" and "Big Rig" throw dirty dollars bills on the stage that are stained with fried chicken grease, and oil.

Americas Top Model has nothing on this gem.

So she was involved in some sort of drug/kidnapping/ransom/ thing. It's not really a big deal. Just a little change in identity. About a million dollars worth of plastic surgery. And voila. A new woman is born.
PS, the book is: "Cop Without a Badge." http://www.amazon.com/Cop-Without-Badge-Extraordinary-Undercover/dp/078670246X

I think my favorite character has to be the hairless cat, Grandma Wrinkles.

The rest of these "women" really, really really are upsetting to watch.
If I were Italian I'd be horribly offended.

From the ditsy stage mom, to the bitchy (yet fabulously dressed) blonde, to the "older sister" who literally keeps giving me flashbacks of the Godfather, Bravo has truly assembled a top notch group of broads.

Kudos to Bravo. Keeping the stereotype alive and kicking.
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