I had to stop by my storage unit today.
I've been driving around with a trunk full of my old life. I guess I just haven't had the metal energy to go and deposit 5 years worth of love into a 12x12 concrete space. Until today.
I was in there, sweating, digging through boxes, flushed with the memories of my past lives. Tripping over the physical representation of all the love, loss, anger, happiness, that has all piled up in my heart. And in my storage unit.
A little living mausoleum.
RIP Old Christina.
See the thing we always forget about the past, is that as long as you're holding onto that shit (physically or mentally) you can't even begin to have room to add new things.
New love. New stories. New books. New treasures. Even new hurts.
My past and my future collided this week.
Sparing the gory details, I was left at the end of it, literally alone. Just looking around. Wondering what the hell happened.
I spent most of the week angry. Mad at my ex-boyfriend for bringing his very special brand of desperation and hurt, into my new relationship.
I was angry that the little bubble of "happiness and light and love" that I was creating with someone else, was overshadowed by this dark gloom of raw emotion.
But then I realized, that the "bubble" was the lie.
If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else.
See we're always faced with unpleasantness. Nothing is really as perfect as some may like you to think it is. Don't be fooled by social media.
Real humans are terribly flawed. And make mistakes. And say things they shouldn't. And do irreparable harm to others.
And when that happens, it's up to you to move forward.
Clean out your trunk. Forgive them. Place your memories into the storage unit of your heart and make peace with it.
Then drive away to begin anew.
I wish you luck in life. I wish you love.
And I hope to find someone who will love me. And my storage unit. Because that's what made me who I am today.
It ain't pretty. But its real. And that's a rare commodity these days.
I've been driving around with a trunk full of my old life. I guess I just haven't had the metal energy to go and deposit 5 years worth of love into a 12x12 concrete space. Until today.
I was in there, sweating, digging through boxes, flushed with the memories of my past lives. Tripping over the physical representation of all the love, loss, anger, happiness, that has all piled up in my heart. And in my storage unit.
A little living mausoleum.
RIP Old Christina.
See the thing we always forget about the past, is that as long as you're holding onto that shit (physically or mentally) you can't even begin to have room to add new things.
New love. New stories. New books. New treasures. Even new hurts.
My past and my future collided this week.
Sparing the gory details, I was left at the end of it, literally alone. Just looking around. Wondering what the hell happened.
I spent most of the week angry. Mad at my ex-boyfriend for bringing his very special brand of desperation and hurt, into my new relationship.
I was angry that the little bubble of "happiness and light and love" that I was creating with someone else, was overshadowed by this dark gloom of raw emotion.
But then I realized, that the "bubble" was the lie.
If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else.
See we're always faced with unpleasantness. Nothing is really as perfect as some may like you to think it is. Don't be fooled by social media.
Real humans are terribly flawed. And make mistakes. And say things they shouldn't. And do irreparable harm to others.
And when that happens, it's up to you to move forward.
Clean out your trunk. Forgive them. Place your memories into the storage unit of your heart and make peace with it.
Then drive away to begin anew.
I wish you luck in life. I wish you love.
And I hope to find someone who will love me. And my storage unit. Because that's what made me who I am today.
It ain't pretty. But its real. And that's a rare commodity these days.
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