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Whats Love Got to Do With It?

"I think you're perfect. I love everything about you." - C.S., June 21, 2011

I guess thats what every woman wants to hear right? And, I guess everyone's gonna go ahead and say the following things:

A. How can you say you want love, and this guy is willing to love you,and you push it away, or
B. He's such a nice guy, why can't you just give him a shot and try it out or
C. You're getting too old to be picky. If this guy likes you then go for it.

To which I reply to everyone, "lalalalala I can't hear you" while covering my ears and running away lol.

See, thats the thing about attraction. Its like, 864% chemistry, and maybe 5% actual conscience decision.
Do you know how many super nice guys I'm friends with? That would be the BEST fathers, BEST husbands,BEST partners in life? - 86. Do you know how many of them I could actually have sex with? -0
And it has nothing to do with physical appearance. Lord knows that's never been high on my list. You should hear some of the nicknames my friends have for the dudes I've dated. Not very flattering at all lol.
But I value intelligence and wit above all else, and lets face it, ugly men are some of the smartest, funniest mofo's in the world. So...

Its just something "else" that you can't quite explain. Some people have it, and some people just don't.

My friend is in love with me. Like, build a shrine, burn candles, tear out locks of my hair and mix it with some chicken wings to try to create a voodoo spell to make me marry him type of love. That crazy walk around wearning matching shirts, and climbing to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro just to shout out how much you love and to hear it echo a million miles away. Its the kind of love that you read about in romance novels, and you think to yourself THATS what i want.
Until it's literally laying in your lap, and all you can do is keep watching the clock and checking your email and turning on bad reality shows until LOVE finally gets the hint and leaves.

The worst feeling in the world is loving someone,who doesnt love you back.
The second worst, is having someone love you, that you can't love back.

No one wins in that scenario. I end up looking like a heartless asshole, he ends up wasting hours trying to "convince" me that I'm making the wrong choice.

Meanwhile, the person you really want to be with, doesnt even answer your calls half the time.

Is it just a simple case of "you always want what you can't have.' Am I just reduced to a bullshit cliche?

I could get all Freud, and blame it on my dad.
I could get all Darwin, and blame it on my animalistic urge to hunt
I could get all Dr. Phil, and blame it on me being an idiot

But, in reality, its my heart. My crazy, cracked, broken, amazing, beautiful heart's fault. And my heart and my brain have never been friends.
One day I'll meet someone, and it will all make sense. But, this, is not the one.

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