::Steak and some Special Sauce::

I thought id blog today in honor of Steak and a Blow Job day. The official “men’s” holiday.
Well, let me rephrase that, I “thought” id be participating in the festivities of today, but since I am not, I’m blogging.

There’s much talk as to how all you need to do to keep a man happy is to keep him “full and fucked”.
My mother and father have been married 30 years, and every single night he comes home to a hot meal (yes my mom works). I imagine its been that way since they met.
They also still enjoy an active sex life (don’t ask. Lets just say, the day you find out your mom is a “screamer” is a day you’ll spend the rest of your life drinking to try and forget)

From friends, to family members, to relationship “experts”, to men themselves, theres a big emphasis put on being skilled in the bedroom and kitchen.
Since I was 18 years old I’ve been trying to excel at both.
Consistently going into each new relationship with an arsenal of recipe’s and porn, I am bright eyed and willing to please these basic needs.
And time and again these relationships end.
Not because I burned chicken.
Not because I wouldn’t wear fishnets in bed.

See, all the things you “do” for your man, might keep him perfectly happy and pleased in the beginning. But it’s the things that you two do “together” that make it last.
None of this “I do this for you, so now you do this for me” mentality.
Everything should be given from the heart. Not because you’re trying “get” or “keep” a man.
You want to make a steak, go head and get your Lawrys on.
You want to give a blow job, go head and suck until your motherfuggin jaw is sore for a week.

But please make sure you’re doing these things because you WANT TO. And not out of some weird obligatory “this Is what men want” bullllllshit.
Anytime something starts to feel like an “obligation” and not “love”, that’s when the resentment sets in.

I do recommend preparing a nice meal and doing something special for your man today. And, well, everyday. And if you cant cook, don’t kill yourself (and possibly him) by trying to all of a sudden learn overnight lol. I nice take-out dinner with some candles works just as well. (and will keep you out of the ER)
It’s important to keep the love going. And if you are lucky enough to have someone, its always good to show them your appreciation.

There are some of us, who have a damn fine steak recipe and no gag reflexes, that are still searching for someone worthy of both.

***********OH AND MEN….A FEW TIPS*************
1. Always always always take a little trip to the bathroom before we get down to business. There’s nothing worse than going down there only to be faced with lint, Dorito crumbs and a pungent odor of…well…sweaty balls.
2. Before you cum, it might be nice to give the young lady a heads up…perhaps even ask where it would be appropriate to “deposit the funds” at. Of course, if you guys have been together for a while, this is unnecessary, but in the beginning, when you’re first drawing boundaries and pushing limits, its best to ask.
One girls “normal” is another girls “this man was raised by porn stars on a ranch in Vegas”.
3. A little bit of gagging is fine. Normal. To be expected. When she starts turning blue though, bro, release the back of the head. Nothing like a dead girlfriend with a stomach full of semen. You’re not a Kennedy. You can’t get away with shit like that.
4. Speaking of holding the back of the head, use it as a guide, or just as a “handle bar” if you’d like, but at the end of the day, remember, this is HER time to be in control. IF you don’t like something she’s doing, best to speak it and not try and direct things. Once accidental left push, when she was going right, and ooooppps….ER visit.
5. And. Of course. As with anything else. Say thank you. Balls are some of the ugliest things you can ever come face to face with.

HAPPY STEAK & BJ DAY FELLAS