I was about to board my plane for LAX, and I received a message. Which simply said "leave it all in the clouds."
And for a few action packed beautiful sun filled days I did.
Then I landed back in NYC, and it was snowing, and reality hit so hard. So. Fucking Hard.
I think people always list "go out with your friends, travel, learn a new language" on those damn "how to survive a breakup" lists because its immensely distracting. However,they never seem to be able to tell you what to do once said task is complete.
Eventually, it's going to be 3 am. Eventually, you're going to be alone in your bed. Eventually, you're going to have to deal with whatever issue it is you were running away from.
Whether it be a bad relationship, a horrible boss, a fucked up financial crisis.
Running will never solve it.
Neither will loading up your system with liquor, and false compliments from new men.
It somehow leaves the opposite result.
I think about 16 times during this break-up I wanted to yell at dudes "you dont know me maaaayyyunnn".
Or, more poetically,
"Are you the new person drawn toward me?
To begin with take warning, I am surely far different from what you suppose;
Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?
Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover?
Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy'd satisfaction?
Do you think I am trusty and faithful?
Do you see no further than this facade, this smooth and tolerant
manner of me?
Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?
Have you no thought O dreamer that it may be all maya, illusion? " - Whitman
Everything is beautiful and charming and amazing when you first meet someone.
The witty, flirty, texts.
The long endless conversations about life, love, heartache, beautiful islands.
The dreams of what life would be if this person was in it.
But, being 31, I've learned a few things in life.
And the most important thing, is that 83% of that is a facade.
Especially when you're hurting.
You have to pick and choose very carefully what you cling to as hope. As truth.
I think that's probably my greatest beef with religion. It preys on people who need hope. Who want to believe in a beautiful future. Blindly.
But I digress.
Let this blog be a warning to any person going through a breakup. Be cautious with your heart and your vagina. It's so easy to lose your focus. Remember, baggage is heavy. Un-pack your bags. Forgive yourself. Forgive him. Then move forward. Lightly.
Work through your feelings alone.
Not with the snarky comments from your friends blasting through your head as you knock back cosmos's like the bill will never come.
Not with the smooth midnight melody of some dude's voice telling you how much better he could make your life.
Alone. With yourself. By yourself.
Work through it.
I'll see you on the other side.
And for a few action packed beautiful sun filled days I did.
Then I landed back in NYC, and it was snowing, and reality hit so hard. So. Fucking Hard.
I think people always list "go out with your friends, travel, learn a new language" on those damn "how to survive a breakup" lists because its immensely distracting. However,they never seem to be able to tell you what to do once said task is complete.
Eventually, it's going to be 3 am. Eventually, you're going to be alone in your bed. Eventually, you're going to have to deal with whatever issue it is you were running away from.
Whether it be a bad relationship, a horrible boss, a fucked up financial crisis.
Running will never solve it.
Neither will loading up your system with liquor, and false compliments from new men.
It somehow leaves the opposite result.
I think about 16 times during this break-up I wanted to yell at dudes "you dont know me maaaayyyunnn".
Or, more poetically,
"Are you the new person drawn toward me?
To begin with take warning, I am surely far different from what you suppose;
Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?
Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover?
Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy'd satisfaction?
Do you think I am trusty and faithful?
Do you see no further than this facade, this smooth and tolerant
manner of me?
Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?
Have you no thought O dreamer that it may be all maya, illusion? " - Whitman
Everything is beautiful and charming and amazing when you first meet someone.
The witty, flirty, texts.
The long endless conversations about life, love, heartache, beautiful islands.
The dreams of what life would be if this person was in it.
But, being 31, I've learned a few things in life.
And the most important thing, is that 83% of that is a facade.
Especially when you're hurting.
You have to pick and choose very carefully what you cling to as hope. As truth.
I think that's probably my greatest beef with religion. It preys on people who need hope. Who want to believe in a beautiful future. Blindly.
But I digress.
Let this blog be a warning to any person going through a breakup. Be cautious with your heart and your vagina. It's so easy to lose your focus. Remember, baggage is heavy. Un-pack your bags. Forgive yourself. Forgive him. Then move forward. Lightly.
Work through your feelings alone.
Not with the snarky comments from your friends blasting through your head as you knock back cosmos's like the bill will never come.
Not with the smooth midnight melody of some dude's voice telling you how much better he could make your life.
Alone. With yourself. By yourself.
Work through it.
I'll see you on the other side.
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