•More than once this week Ive heard (from men) the following: “Man, you need somebody to get him off your mind.” Or any other variation of that. I.E.
-- “you just need some dick” Or,
-- “ma, come hang out tonight. I’ll make you forget all about that dude.”
I’m not sure why men think their penis is magical. Or somehow has healing powers that Native American Shaman would be envious of.
Like my girl Tori Amos puts it,
“So you can make me cum. That doesn’t make you Jesus.”Even my female friends have become extreme activists of the “Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone new” campaign.
I just can’t possibly do it.
Oh. I mean. I’ve done it. And done it well might I add.
You dump me, and I can not ONLY rebound with someone richer, smarter, better looking, better sex, better life. BUT because I’m all angsty and bitter and anti-men, I’m usually at my BEST during these rebound relationships….if THE REBOUND was the second act of a play, I’d steal the spotlight.
All in an effort to prove that I’m an amazing woman, and then, obviously, to treat the rebound like I was just treated and get some shallow satisfaction.
Hurt people hurt people.
That is so emotionally fucked up you can’t even imagine.
And you end up with this shallow feeling, that overtakes your whole soul.
The Rebound Risks:
1. You stay Rebounding beyond the expiration date. And it turns into “dating.”
----This can go one of two ways. Either you find yourself a few weeks into this wanting to renig your original position of nothing serious…just got out of something, etc etc” and you get rejected.
Or
HE starts to catch feelings for you. And you know that you’ve taken the rebound thing too far. And now, real feelings are involved. And you feel like an evil, evil little woman. And now not only are you broken hearted, but you get the luxury of passing that hurt along to an innocent player in your weird game of life.
2. A one night stand could occur.
You know…the kind where you TELL yourself its going to be “just sex…nothing else.” And you have a crazy, beautiful, amazing, Before Sunrise like weekend. And everything is love and happiness and sex and drinks and drugs and music. And you never want it to end. And every single empty part of your soul fills up. Until Monday comes. And you realize, every single thing that was filling your soul, was fake. Man-made liquor and drugs. False kisses. Hazy whispers in a dark bedroom.
The feeling may last a few days. Until reality hits. And you feel even lower than before.
3. You Rebound with an ex.
In an effort to keep your “hoe” meter below a certain level, you tell yourself that it’s better to run back to an ex for emotional and physical release, instead of finding a new person. Plus, you already know the sex is good, and you two get along, so there wont be any “awkward morning after” shit to deal with.
Except. Lord. There are so many wrong things with this, than I can even list here. It’s a whole other blog.
Lets just say. Rebounding with an ex is a dangerous spiral. Its like walking in quicksand. Hop in, hop out. Any time lingering around in that muddy swamp of old feelings and past hurts, and you WILL SINK.
To sum up this mess of a rant, MEN rebounding is not the way. Please stop advising your female friends to go this route.
You know damn well that you and your penis have slayed many broken hearted hoes before. And you know damn well, that was the most selfish sexual act ever performed.
Hugs, not Drugs and Semen, is the best way to heal hearts. LOL
-- “you just need some dick” Or,
-- “ma, come hang out tonight. I’ll make you forget all about that dude.”
I’m not sure why men think their penis is magical. Or somehow has healing powers that Native American Shaman would be envious of.
Like my girl Tori Amos puts it,
“So you can make me cum. That doesn’t make you Jesus.”Even my female friends have become extreme activists of the “Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone new” campaign.
I just can’t possibly do it.
Oh. I mean. I’ve done it. And done it well might I add.
You dump me, and I can not ONLY rebound with someone richer, smarter, better looking, better sex, better life. BUT because I’m all angsty and bitter and anti-men, I’m usually at my BEST during these rebound relationships….if THE REBOUND was the second act of a play, I’d steal the spotlight.
All in an effort to prove that I’m an amazing woman, and then, obviously, to treat the rebound like I was just treated and get some shallow satisfaction.
Hurt people hurt people.
That is so emotionally fucked up you can’t even imagine.
And you end up with this shallow feeling, that overtakes your whole soul.
The Rebound Risks:
1. You stay Rebounding beyond the expiration date. And it turns into “dating.”
----This can go one of two ways. Either you find yourself a few weeks into this wanting to renig your original position of nothing serious…just got out of something, etc etc” and you get rejected.
Or
HE starts to catch feelings for you. And you know that you’ve taken the rebound thing too far. And now, real feelings are involved. And you feel like an evil, evil little woman. And now not only are you broken hearted, but you get the luxury of passing that hurt along to an innocent player in your weird game of life.
2. A one night stand could occur.
You know…the kind where you TELL yourself its going to be “just sex…nothing else.” And you have a crazy, beautiful, amazing, Before Sunrise like weekend. And everything is love and happiness and sex and drinks and drugs and music. And you never want it to end. And every single empty part of your soul fills up. Until Monday comes. And you realize, every single thing that was filling your soul, was fake. Man-made liquor and drugs. False kisses. Hazy whispers in a dark bedroom.
The feeling may last a few days. Until reality hits. And you feel even lower than before.
3. You Rebound with an ex.
In an effort to keep your “hoe” meter below a certain level, you tell yourself that it’s better to run back to an ex for emotional and physical release, instead of finding a new person. Plus, you already know the sex is good, and you two get along, so there wont be any “awkward morning after” shit to deal with.
Except. Lord. There are so many wrong things with this, than I can even list here. It’s a whole other blog.
Lets just say. Rebounding with an ex is a dangerous spiral. Its like walking in quicksand. Hop in, hop out. Any time lingering around in that muddy swamp of old feelings and past hurts, and you WILL SINK.
To sum up this mess of a rant, MEN rebounding is not the way. Please stop advising your female friends to go this route.
You know damn well that you and your penis have slayed many broken hearted hoes before. And you know damn well, that was the most selfish sexual act ever performed.
Hugs, not Drugs and Semen, is the best way to heal hearts. LOL
Comments
Post a Comment