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A Break. AKA: I need to have sex with other people while you feel insecure about yourself and get fat overdosing on alcohol and ice cream.

A break
Aka. I need to have sex with other people while you feel insecure about yourself and get fat overdosing on alcohol and ice cream, until I decide I’m bored and come back.

So I’ve never been on a “break” before.
I honestly don’t know what it means. The whole concept is foreign to me.
See, I have this pair of amazing shoes. Love them. Everyone loves them. I get compliments every day and they make me happy.
But sometimes they’re out of season. And they just sit around collecting dust. And people ask to borrow them. And I SHOULD let them.
Because I’m not using them. And I know I’ll get them back eventually. But, god forbid, someone looses them. Or breaks a heel. OR they just don’t come back in the condition I left them in.
That’s not a risk I’m willing to take with my fashion.

And I don’t understand men who are willing to take that risk with women.

If you are in a relationship. Even if ,at the moment, you’re not in the best place in that relationship. Even if there seems to be a bit of arguing. Perhaps some boredom setting in. Whatever it may be.
If you are in a relationship, its YOURS. And you either fix it. Or you end it. You don’t lease it out for a little bit, while you figure out what you want, and then expect to still be able to come over and enjoy the benefits. This is no summer rental sir.

A break hurts the exact same way a “break-up” does. You still feel inadequate, like whatever you did wasn’t enough to “keep” that person.
You feel regretful. Thinking about all the time “wasted” with this person. Time that could have been spent with someone much more deserving. Like yourself.
You’re sad. You’re lonely. And, jealous. Which comes unexpectedly. Because now, you have ZERO right to question anything. The simple “where’d you go last night” might open up a big can of worms. So you avoid any “questions” and go on pretending like you’re all good with everything. It turns into this very fake, very forced “friendship.” But the foundation is built on false hope. The foundation is built on the hope that this man will come back. So in the meantime you don’t want to do anything to ruin what “may” happen in the future. So you stay smiling, and happy and available. And hope one day he “snaps” out of it, and comes back home crying.
Which never does. I’m convinced.

All the stupid clichés. “If its meant to be let it go and it will come back to you” blah blah blah B.S.

I’m a firm believer that if it was meant to be, you wouldn’t have gotten rid of it in the first place.
Even if its one MINUTE of being on a break. that’s enough time to potentially loose the person you care about for good.
All it takes is one drunken night. One fabulous date. One minute of someone else, to get you distracted.
God knows I have a.d.d.

Breaks are bullshit and you all know it. But maybe I’m being a little harsh. What do ya’ll think?

Comments

  1. Love the post, explains Life if u think about it :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bullshit. If not for our break we wouldn't b together now.

    ReplyDelete

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